I miss summer

I seriously hate the winter so unbelievably much. I would trade christmas for summer all year any day. Had to wait for the bus for twenty-five minutes today, in -7°C, because the one I was supposed to take didn't show. Same thing yesterday, so I missed a test at school. And there's not many feelings I detest as much as not being able to use your fingers because they're so cold.

Dyed my hair today. Yellow and pink. It was probably in last place in my poll, but I couldn't help myself today when the hair dye from Crazy Color arrived. It's a very light yellow, so you can hardly see it, but I like the tone.

I'm not the best at updating atm, but it's mostly because I get a bit depressed at this time of year and don't want to do anything except for watch TV, read and sleep. But I started to use twitter again, so you can follow me there instead if you like. My username is Monster_Youth. Probably gonna get some sort of widget in the side menu for this (done).

Gonna see if I can get some tea of hot chocolate in this house. Sleep tight xx


wedges & engineer boots

My re-decoration of my room is going slooow. It has got this factory feeling to it now when I moved out my clothing rack and all my jackets and coats and there's just a lot of shoe boxes on the floor. Gonna put the piece of wood I found on the beach this summer, which I bought hooks for, up on the wall and keep my jackets and stuff on.

And yeah, my wedges. I love my wedges. And my brand new engineer boots.



Sorry for the awful update, but I've got some school work to take care of and I'm still redecorating my room. I also had to finish up DOASW in order to be able to order it, which I did yesterday. I should have it within seven work days. I also ordered some awesome t-shirts from Shotdeadinthehead.com, which I should have within ten work days. AND I'm waiting for my yellow hair dye which should be here any day next week. Internet shopping is dangerous.

Framed my Gaga-photos last night. It's kinda awesome to have pictures of her that you've taken yourself on your wall.

And I am also working on my own website! I haven't bought a web hotel yet, but I'm woking on the layout so I can get it up an running as fast as possible when I do.



And you know I am not afraid to die
but I’m afraid to lose my life.


It always ends with a Z

Guess what? DOASW is done. Finished. I'll be ordering the first copy of the printed book by the end of this week. So this is the last teasers you are gonna get. They are for T as in Telephone and XYZ.

Still not sure how to present it to you, who don't get to see the book. Don't want to make just a post with the pictures, that'll be no fun. I'll have to think about that one...


We live a cute life, soundfanatic, pants tighter than plastic, honey, but we got no money

I finally got the leopard dotted shoes I won at an internet auction weeks ago. It was the first one that I won on my own, since I didn't have an account on the site before very recently and my mum always did it for me (she's got serious skills with that kind of thing, she got me my tickets to both Lady Gaga concerts as well). I've been waiting for so long and was so worried I would end up not getting them. But I did, today. They were only 71 SEK (6,44£/7,56€/10,26$), shipping included. They're originally from H&M. Leather imitation pants are from BikBok (299SEK).

So this is what my room looks like at the moment. Nothing in this pictures is staged. And it's not real money and I'm not trying to make money, it's just lousy prints that I'm likely to burn in a not so distant photoshoot.

Can't decide whether to go with Retire or Reckless for R in DOASW...


It's death, it's blood and it's beautiful

I have always been quite dark. Which is funny, because in real life I don't look very dark. I mean, my hair is platinum blonde, I'm quite pale, I usually wear no make-up and I've got a quite childish face. My darkness mostly shows in my pictures, what I write and sometimes in the way I dress.

I wrote I'd buy a piece of meat to prove a point. I do a bit crazy things sometimes, for my pictures. I'm sure I've written about me getting syrup in my eyes. This is probably the most discusting thing I've done so far. Maybe you think that it's not so bad, it's just a piece of raw chicken filet. But raw meat really grosses me out. I was surprised I could even convince myself to buy it in the first place. It will probably be a while before I will be able to look at raw chicken without feeling slightly weird... And whatever my point really was, is for me to know and you to figure out. (And as for the pictures in the previous post, I did NOT actually bite it, I'm not that gros.)

Lady Gaga wore I meat dress. I would have thrown up if anyone put it on me. But you do what you have to do for your art, if you really are an artist.

This was for the letter K in DOASW. K as in Killer. If you know your Gaga, you'll know that this is inspired by the excorcist/puking film (youtube it).



"In the end, art is really only about how far you are willing to go to prove a point."

teaser for letter K.


Baby has been dancing in the dark

I got my Dance In The Dark tee. And I'm in a Gaga-coma. It was the same the last time around. Not sure if I'll ever recover though. Her yellow hair was gorgeous so I'm ignoring the results from my poll and ordered yellow hair dye. It was stay all blonde that won anyway, and I said I'd might ignore that.

The person who reviewed the concert in Kvällsposten should get fired because he obviously did not know what the hell he was on about. I mean, he gave You and I an 1 on a scale from 1 to 5. That's just plain stupid. I wrote a long post about this, which I deleted, because I don't want to get too angry here. I would just very much like to see all those who complain about how Gaga does things do what she does. That's all.

I say what she says: We do at least deserve the benefit of a doubt that we actually got talent.

Tomorrow I'll be buying a piece of meat to prove a point.

Over and out


The Monster Ball pt. III

This is all for now. I'm saving one, my favorite, for a special occation.

Tomorrow my mum will print three of my Monster Ball pictures for me in in A3 for my walls. It's gonna be awesome having pictures of the Lady that I've taken myself on display. My room will look awesome as soon as I paint over my striped wall and hang them up!


The Monster Ball pt. II

Pictures not in landscape format will be posted tomorrow.

I know that it's awfully ugly with watermarks, which is why I usually don't use them. But these are my pictures of my biggest idol that I take very much pride in, and I don't want anyone to be able to steal them and take credit and that's why I have chosen to do this this time. It's a different thing when it's pictures of myself or people I know, because then someone else can always confirm that they are actually mine.

This naturally also mean that you are not allowed to use my pictures from the Monster Ball if you don't ask me first. I'm very likely to let you use them with the watermark, but I want to know and I want my blog linked back to.


The Monster Ball pt. I

You are not allowed to use my pictures from the Monster Ball if you don't ask me first.

In all:

Best song: You and I ♥

Worst song: haha yeah right...

Best performance: Monster, I think. Love the choreography. And the outfit (last pic).

Best: Her gorgeousness which I got to catch on camera!

The cold while queuing (like Gaga herself could do any wrong?)

Best quote:
"And you're like Bitch that's not how you say it..." and "I can say SMA MONSTER!"

Most surprising: She actually looked me in the eyes. I nearly died at the spot.

Most disapointing: She didn't play Vanity this time.

But it's alright because she was FUCKING AWESOME.

more pics to come...


Lady Gaga, the one and only

Tonight was magic. She was magic. Seriously, I'd marry that woman any day under any circumstances. She is absolutely gorgeous and everything she says just go right through to my heart. Front row, baby, and I swear to god I made eye contact with her more than once. Got some awsome shots as well, I'll post them tomorrow. Now I'm going to sleep to dream about her.

Life does not get any better than her.



Teaser for letter L, as in Liberty.

So, like I wrote yesterday, I was interviewed about Lady Gaga this morning, by Tobias Wallin, live at P4 Malmöhus. It was so much and I didn't sound all to stupid. Only a bit annoyed with myself for not remembering that it's call "Don't ask, don't tell", when I knew it, really. But anyway, you can listen to it here (it's in Swedish, so if you don't understand it then it's not much use listening, unless you want to hear my not-so-lovely voice). I also like that I said that I was practically tone deaf on radio. Awesome (true though). And they played Alejandro for me!

Tonights the night. The Monsterball will set me free



Teaser for E as in Entrapment. One of my favourite words actually, but hard to illustrate in the right way.

There's not much left to do on DOASW now, only three more shots, then some layouting and then I'll have it printed. Yeah, I never said, did I, that I'm gonna print it. And thereof I was wondering if there is anyone out there interested in buying it? Please comment if you are. Note that just because you do, it does not mean you HAVE to buy it, I just want to know if there's anyone who's interested. The cost will be about 200 SEK (20€/29$)+shipping costs. It will be another few weeks until it's actually available though. I'm going to order just one copy first to make sure it's how I want it, and then I'll be ordering a bunch, some to give away as x-mas presents and some maybe to sell?

Tomorrow's the Monster Ball. I'm so exticted! Feeling a bit stressed that I have school and can't go queuing all day as I'd like to. But in the long run, I think the Lady herself would appreciate it more if I went to school and worked hard to follow my dreams, rather than standing outside in the cold wasting my time waiting for her when I'm going to get in sooner or later either way. Gonna thank her when I become famous (haha), so I'll think we'd be even.

And btw, I'm being interviewed by a Swedish radio channel (P4) tomorrow about Lady Gaga!


Disco ball/Shadows/weird dreams

Did to pictures today. M and N. Magpie and Night. I was supposed to have Madness for M really, but I wanted to do a sparkly photo with disco balls, and since I have a little bit of a bird (which is a bit of an innuendo, since bird can also mean girl as you probably know) thing going on in the book, I changed it to magpie. And I painted my hair black for it, so it was kinda fun. It suits me in the shot, but not irl...

I don't know if you have noticed, but one thing that I like to do when photographing is playing with shadows. I love crazy shadows that goes right across the face and to inhance features with it. I work a lot with shadows in both M and N.

I've had really weird dreams lately. Really vivid ones. Some were quite nice, like the one last night when I was a master of a video game where you were actually in the game. And then there are less nice ones, like when I dreamed that I was havinga baby that I really didn't want. I felt really bad all through the dream and was so releaved when I woke up that it had not been real. Maybe it's a sign...?

Now I'm going to make myself a cup of tea.

Two days 'til Monster Ball.


She's on fire, think I'm gonna let her burn

I'm so lucky to have a sister like Lovisa. I mean, look at her, she's gorgeous. And she fits my style in photography perfectly. I can't get anyone better. I hope, for her sake, that she becomes really tall, so she can be a real model if she wants to. Unlike me and my 5.2 feet. Luckily she's almost my height and six years younger. And two shoesizes bigger, which means she's gonna get taller!

Anyway, today I thought I'd post to three songs that I really like at the moment. They're quite different from each other, but they're all, to me, what music should be like when it's the best.

You and I - Lady Gaga

Super Lover - Lady Gaga

Just Tonight - The Pretty Reckless

ps. Three more days until the Monster Ball will set me free! ds.


It's been a long time

Teaser for D as in Death.

Still soar neck, still tired as hell all day. But the test was cancelled due to a powercut. And I got to see my BFF. And I did another letter, L, and I look a bit like a freak in it, in a good way. And you should never start a sentance with "and"...

Taekwondo practice again tomorrow for the first time in almost three weeks. Just hope I can go through with it without killing my neck. I missed Lie.

Goodnight, sweet dreams.


A Window

Teaser for W as in Window. The "real" picture for this word is probably my favourite of them all (along with A for Apple), it turned out so good! I accidently destroyed the quality in this photo while editing it, and I was too sleepy to do anything about it. Thereof the non-focus and blurriness. Sorry 'bout that.

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I'm totally worn out. My back, neck and wrist hurts (the last I have no idea why) and I'm so tired I could fall alseep. And probably will within a short time. I've got a test tomorrow, and I'm going to study some camera technique this afternoon, but most of all I'm going to get some rest, because like this I will fail no matter how hard I study. Luckily, my three years as a photography student in secondary school has given me a lot of what's going to be in this test for free. And the photoshop part will be easier than a child's game...

Now food, then sleep. Then some reading. And I need to stretch out my back. Note to myself.



Did two different photoshoots with Lovisa today for DOASW. Letters D (death) and W (window). She was not happy in the cold. Teasers will come, but I'm going to bed early tonight so you'll have to wait.

Working this weekend. I really wish I didn't need to, but I'm not one to cancel last minute. So I'll have to make do and think of the money, haha. Now I'm going to get ready for bed so I can watch an episode or two of Spooks before sleeping. Night.


Remember when we were young and pale?

I think this is from early 2007. We were fifteen years old, crazy about everything Japanese and wore white foundation and powder every day (and those damn dreads that were killing my roots every evening). I will never ever dress like that again, but neither will I be ashamed of that I once did. I still have those dreads in my hair-box.

Sanna is also the only friend that I actually have left from that time in my life. We have been best friends for five and a half years now (since summer '05).


Mickey Mouse

t's not a question whether you can wear sunglasses inside or not, because obviously you can. It's about you can pull of wearing sunglasses inside. And that very few can."


The thing I ordered

It has arrived. I am very much pleased and they were worth the wait and every penny. Bought at Celebritieseyewear.com. They're great! They have lots of sunglasses that are just like the ones that the celebrities wear, among them Lady Gaga. They were deliverd quite fast (four working days) for being sent from abroad (Neatherlands) and the shipping cost were only 2,20 €. These were the most expensive ones of the Gaga-glasses and they were 19,95 €.

And don't forget to vote in my poll, if you haven't yet done so! It will be removed by next Tuesday and then I'll do whatever wins (or comes second, because if "stay all blonde" wins by only one vote or somthing, I might ignore that...)

Btw, my first film with my D550!


Silver and Gold

If anyone is wondering what's happening with my Death Of a Saleswoman project I can tell you that I'm waiting for the thing I ordered last week to arrive and I'm trying to collect my sisters so I can photograph them, which is easier said than done.

Anyway, my neck has gotten very stiff over night, probably because it's cold in my room and windy from the window (maybe I need to redecorate again...) and it's very uncomfortable.

Now I'm going to watch one more episode of Spooks, hoping Zoe and Danny will get it together, even though I know they won't... (yes, I read spoilers.) But Keeley's so cute



DNG-converter, I love you. For about half an hour I was thinking I might have to go taking pictures in JPEG instead of RAW until like February or March. But then I found a DNG-converter that worked (apparently there were many upgrades to chose between and I was not so smart that I looked at all of them, finding one working for both my camera and photoshop...)! So, my entire existance savedm I'm going to celebrate with Crème Caramel and Spooks. I like Spooks. Mostly because Keeley Hawes is in it. I'm going to stop watching after series three when she's not in it anymore...


Depth of focus

Just been playing around with my new camera and lens a little, so nothing serious or thought out about these pictures. Did some home work and am done for the week. I've also started watching The Wire (TV-series from US) on DVD. Only seen three episodes so far, but it's been fairly good.

Mum made me Key lime pie today. I like lime, especially in pies. And Key Lime extra-especially because that's what Spoke made us for out last speechday (that is one awful word, is it really called that? It was the last day of school ever anyway).

And I totally forgot to say that two days ago I ordered something I've been dreaming of for so long. I'm not going to tell you what it is, I'll show you when I get it. Maybe in a video, if I'm in that mood!

And HEY! B/W IS UP! WATCH IT! (previous entry)




Only two more weeks

Can't wait!


Canon EOS D550+EF 50mm f/1.8 II

I went a bit crazy at Scandinavian photo. Not only did I buy the camera, I also bought a fast lens (EF 50mm f/1.8 II), a remote control (finally...), memory card and a card reader (which I actually got for free!). I'm very pround that I payed for all of it with my very own, self earned, money. These are just some pics from when I was trying it out, nothing special and pretty bad quality since it's kinda dark... And unfortionally I'm forced to shot in JPEG and not RAW at the moment, since photoshot CS4 doesn't support my RAW-files and nor does the DNG converter. So I have to wait until I can upgrade to CS5 with my student discount. Sucks a bit, since I was not planning on upgrading... But what the hell, might as well do it when I can get a discount.

ANYWAY, I love my new baby



Second time around

Stills from the second filming for B/W. If only the film quality was as good as the photos... Anyway I'm done filming and putting it together now and I'm going to add some more effects in one of the adobe programs (I've got the whole CS4 package, but I don't know how to work the film-programs, but I'll figure it out...). Then I'm going to make the music and add it to the film, then I'm all done! Probably won't take very long, I'm on fire!

Btw, going to Scandinavian Photo this afternoon to look at and most likely buy the D550!


Still shot

Still shot from B/W. Unfortionally the quality of the film itself is probably not even half as good as the photo. Though I do like it a bit, it makes it look old and it suits the story (or lack of story). I filmed about half of it today and will do the other parts soon, I promise. Can't wait to get it done!


I need your help

I just can't decide what to do with my hair and I'd really like your opinions, so please vote in the poll in the side menu.

And I know it looks ugly with the poll there, but it will be removed as soon as I get the anwers I need!


Short, but not short of ideas

Teaser for J as in Juvenility.

Soooo, news. I'm planning a new short film. I did sort of a story board and maybe I'll even start filming tomorrow, if I don't end up sleeping all day. My first short film was more of a experiment and not very thought out, but hopefully this one will be better. And since I have no time limit I got all the time I need to learn how to edit in the adobe programs. I think it's going to be called B/W and be sort of a silent film (with music ofc) in black and white starring, guess who, me. Wish me luck!


If you had to die because you were vain, what would you be wearing when dying?

Today I died a very bloody and metaphorical death. I was going to do V as in Vanity and figured that since it's a mortal sin, why not die? So I asked myself: What would I wear if I had to die because of my vanity. Answer was my white graduation dress, Mary-Janes and lots of hairextensions. The idea was me being pushed by someone who were mad at me because of my vanity (or something like that), then I'd fall, hit my head and die. And then be left at the scene for CSI people or something to investigate what really happened. It looks more like that in the original picture. I even got that kind of CSI light and colours in the pic. And I look a bit more dead... But I like the hair in this one, and how my arm looks kind of dislocated. Though that does not look like a natural position to fall into when being pushed... The real one is a bit more realistic.