My religion is you

Sometimes, there's nothing I want more than to be able to let her know how much she means to me and how much she helps me, every day. It really is like a religion, you know. And people make fun of me and thinks I'm silly for feeling this way, but I don't give a single fuck. Because they can't possibly understand it unless they've felt it too. It doesn't have to be for Lady Gaga in particular, but for any other person. To have someone who is everything you believe in. Sometimes I forget, and I hate myself for that. Sometimes I doubt her, and myself, but I am always reminded. She and her music was there for me under a real tough time. Music can save your soul, but I didn't believe that before this. I felt like shit, but I cried and had "Oh Well" on repeat in my headphones, and in the end that and some of the people in my life made it all okay.

I just realised that the Lady Gaga Live from Madison Square Garden recording will be aried on May 7:th. The one year anniversery of the first time I was at the Monster Ball. The day I was set free.

And laugh at me all you want, but it means the world to me. She means the world to me. And it pains me to see her cry and hear her say that she still feels like a loser sometimes, and I can't tell her all this. I can only write it down, publish it, and hope that someday she'll magically stumble over it. Either that or I just give my all to reach the point when I can tell her in person. And even that gives me more will to fight.


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