The reason why my heart is now in pieces


What annoys me about life is that it keeps going on

Spent today writing on my bloody project report (which is going to be the death of me) and cleaning my room. And it's probably gonna be another very late night tonight. New Fringe and New Doctor Who episode awaits me. What a way to celebrate bonfire night. Everyone else is out getting pissed and I'll be on my own in my room, fangirling Anna Torv and Matt Smith. But what can I say. In Fringe everything is Polivia and nothing hurts and Doctor Who's got that annoying cliffhanger from last episode. I wouldn't trade my night in for anything (which is why I'll be forever alone).

But honestly. I don't give a shit about anything but that and the fact that in three days I'll be in London with Cicci and in four days I'll see Keeley Hawes irl. Nothing beats that!

And I've got 200+ fans on my lookbook now! Go on and go in and hype me/like me, bitcheees!♥

3 days 'til London.
4 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
23 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!



Mainly because I'm having a Britain appreciation day in honor of the royal wedding and the fact that I'm going there in only four days! And because my bag is bad ass thanks to Spoke who gave me these awesome Gaga-stickers! AND tomorrow it's Doctor Who again!

4 days 'til London.
5 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
24 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!


Electric Chapel

Follow me, don't be scared, Caskets will fall.

Dance dance dance with your hands hands hands above your head like Jesus.





Boo you whore




The Impossible Astronaut

I was going to do this post yesterday, but I was away all day and then all of a sudden it was really late and I was too sleepy. But to the point: The new episode of Doctor Who as awesome, and I'm really wondering were it's all going this series. Matt Smith as the Doctor has really grown on me, and just maybe, someday, he'll be my favourite. Still don't like Amy much, but I like Rory and River. I love River and I totally ship her with the Doctor (even if Doctor/Rose is one of my OTP's).

I'm a bit sad because I wanted to watch an episode while I am in London, but I miss it by one day! But hopefully I'll be able to get hold of some merchandise while I'm there. And maybe the DVD's!




Here's a gif I made to take my mind of it.

10 days 'til London.
11 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
30 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!


I'll die living just as free as my hair

And then she posted another hair related entry... Ah well, it takes up a lot of my mind at the time, and naturally therefore it also takes up a lot of my blog posts. Dyed, put in and cut my other extenstions. It's think it's really nice now. Still very much feeling the colour. I thought it'd be like two days then I'd wish I was bleach blonde again, but no. I think I'll probably stay like this for a while. Though my real hair is slightly shinier than the extenions, but I will never be able to escape that (never before have good hair quality been so annoying)...

I just really really wish my hair was this long naturally. Because I think I would have really nice natural curls if it was... But oh well, I'll just have to keep eating vitamin B supplements and hope it gets long at some point...



Even though the title of this post might suggest otherwise, things are NOT shit, apart from my extensions. Which is why I'm going to buy more hair dye tomorrow and dye my other, longer ones. I can't let my hair live with this plastic-y misery.

Soooo... Though I was supposed to NOT be shopping and save my money for London, my mum took us to a shopping mall and of course I had to find lots of things I had been searching for. Like fancy tights on sale, those fabulous black tank tops that you all know I'm so fond of, and a tank top in my favourite gray shade. And the baseball jacket in the picture above for half the price (which was pretty damn cheap in the first place). It's think like a jacket and long, just the way I want it. Though I thought the H was a bit boring so I put studs on it. It's from Cubus, if anyone wonders.

Spent the evening today at my uncle's house, along with most of the immediate family on my father's side. His youngest brother, who lives in Switzerland with his wife who's from Morocco and their daughter, was visiting. His wife and daughted don't speak Swedish, so we have to talk English when they're around. So it was a rather painful evening in the sense of me having to sit and listen to a slight abuse of English grammar. I mean, I'm used to British TV-shows and the flawless grammar in my head (yes, I do think in English most of the time, which is why it's easier to write/blog in it)... But then again, I don't speak quite as well as I think either.

1 day 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
11 days 'til London.
12 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
31 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!

Gonna sleep soon, sweet dreams.


My religion is you

Sometimes, there's nothing I want more than to be able to let her know how much she means to me and how much she helps me, every day. It really is like a religion, you know. And people make fun of me and thinks I'm silly for feeling this way, but I don't give a single fuck. Because they can't possibly understand it unless they've felt it too. It doesn't have to be for Lady Gaga in particular, but for any other person. To have someone who is everything you believe in. Sometimes I forget, and I hate myself for that. Sometimes I doubt her, and myself, but I am always reminded. She and her music was there for me under a real tough time. Music can save your soul, but I didn't believe that before this. I felt like shit, but I cried and had "Oh Well" on repeat in my headphones, and in the end that and some of the people in my life made it all okay.

I just realised that the Lady Gaga Live from Madison Square Garden recording will be aried on May 7:th. The one year anniversery of the first time I was at the Monster Ball. The day I was set free.

And laugh at me all you want, but it means the world to me. She means the world to me. And it pains me to see her cry and hear her say that she still feels like a loser sometimes, and I can't tell her all this. I can only write it down, publish it, and hope that someday she'll magically stumble over it. Either that or I just give my all to reach the point when I can tell her in person. And even that gives me more will to fight.


Black and copper

Beware: Style rant ahead.

Some of you may have noticed that I wear black long tank tops quite a lot. I do, almost every day. I have I have quite a few of this model that I shift between. It's an outgoing model from Gina Tricot, so I should probably go there and buy a few more. It's just really nothing that can replace a top like this. There's nothing it doesn't go with.

I really like my hair now. I love the colour and I think having slightly darker hair suits me better. Though I wish it was redder (it's not as red irl as in pictures). Why is it that I can't seem to find a light ginger hair dye that is semi permanent anywhere? And I do wish my extentions weren't such bad shape. I dyed my old ones, and not the ones I bought about a month ago because I didn't know how it would turn out and I was afraid I'd end up ruining them. But it turned out alright except for them being a bit too dark, so I bleached them slightly. So now they're such bad quality. I'd dye my new ones as well, but I'm going to London in less than two weeks so I really want to save all my money and not go about buying both dye and possibly bleach. So I suppose I'll stick with these until after I come home, at the earliest. Might even be time to re-dye the entire hair by then. No idea how fast this will fade, since I've only washed it once since I dyed it.

And for something different: I said in my previous post that I saw Sucker Punch last night. I thought it was amazing. I'd even go as far as saying it's one of my favourite films (not to be taken into that much consideration though, I don't watch that much film). Most of all I loved the fashion/outfits. I wish I could dress like that without people thinking I'm a prostitute. Because as I may be many things, slutty is not one of them, and anyone who ever says that really doesn't know me at all.

3 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
13 days 'til London.
14 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
33 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!

And RIP Elisabeth Sladen!


Sucker Punch

Off to school. Where did the sun go?

Went to the pictures last night and saw Sucker Punch. I thought it was awesome!



Teaser from untitled, picture nr 3. The inspiration is from the story of Lilith, said to have been Adams first wife, made out of the same earth as him, and at the same time. She denied Adam as her superior (first feminist, lol) and left the Garden Of Eden. God then made Eve, to replace her, out of one of Adam's ribs, which made her inferior. Lilith is often portrayed with red hair.


These glasses are awesome

Sorry about the campics, it's just that now when my hair is darker, I can actually take pictures with it without the light just shining straight through my hair, making it just a huge highlighted area. Though the quality is still shit, of course. And btw, does any of you Swedish people know the english translation for "utfrätt"? Not even google translate will translate it. I'm beginning to wonder if it's even a real word?

ANYWAY, I point was that I love my new glasses. They're the perfect size and I'm seriously wondering if I'll be able to not buy a pair in black as well...

(btw, working on the lamest photography assingment ever... I'm not even doing anything really, just waiting for photoshop to do all the work...)

1 days 'til Judas single.. OH NO WAIT THAT'S RIGHT IT WAS LEAKED FOUR DAYS TOO EARLY...........
5 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
15 days 'til London.
16 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
35 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!


Copper blonde

I took my sister shopping today because I was bored. I was looking for a dark dark red almost black lipstick, but without luck. But I did find a pair of round "John Lennon sunglasses" that had a blue glass, which is something I have been wanting for ages.

And yeah, as you probably figured by now, I have dyed my hair. Copper blonde by Mood Hype is the colour. It's darker (and sort of grayer, if you know what I mean) irl. Maybe not the best colour for my skin tone (but it seems as if nothing is), since it's a reddish colour, but love it. I love having a little darker hair and I love being slightly ginger. And most of all I like the change. I've been blonde all my life, apart from a short period in sixth grade when I had something similair to this and when I had pink hair.



Oh, yeah, hi

Guess what?



Keeley Hawes in Karaoke from 1996. So this is when she was pretty much the same age as I am now. Probably gonna post lots of printscreens from this when I've watched the whole thing.

And by the way: Please go onto this site and "like" my competition contribution and help me have my dream come true!


And not a single fuck was given

Toast will always have a special place in my heart after this.


I'm just a holy fool


How can I protect something so perfect, without evil?




Keeley Hawes

Probably gonna spam some Keeley for a while, 'cause I'm really excited that I'm going to see her. Sorry about that, if you don't know who she is or just don't care. If you do care, and want to know, you can see her in TV-shows such as Ashes To Ashes, Identity, New Upstairs Downstairs, Spooks (first three series) and Mutual Friends. And lots of TV-movies like Under The Greenwood Tree, Sex and Lies, The Blonde Bombshell (the pics from there), The Beggar Bride and After Thomas (which made me cry like a baby). AND she does the voice for Lara Croft in the video games. Bet you didn't know that! Anyway, I think she's brilliant. Especially in Ashes To Ashes and Identity. You should really watch those (but watch Life On Mars before Ashes To Ashes, or you will be seriously confused).



Find a T-shirt that says Youth and you know I can't resist. Especially not if it's dark grey, oversized and on half price. Also got a necklace with a big blue stone. And the black and white striped basic shirt from H&M that I've been craving for about a year (I blame you, Alex Drake in series 3). And of course the tickets to Rocket To The Moon. Can't believe I'm actually going! I feel sort of relieved now, that I know that I will see it (and Keeley). Would have regretted it so bad if I didn't!

Sanna says I'm hipster~ And she trolled me. And we had a TARDIS rave at McDonald's. We bought ice cream then sat there for over two hours, just catching up. We made a deal: I'll watch Misfits and she'll watch Ashes To Ashes series 2 and 3.

7 days 'til Judas single.
11 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
21 days 'til London.
22 days 'til Rocket To The Moon.
41 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!

Life is good.


Tickets, I has them

I've got tickets to Rocket To The Moon! I'm going to see Keeley Hawes irl! I fucking love life!



(Photobooth pic from a few days ago, don't have any newer ones.)

I'm feelin' life at the moment. There's just so much to be happy about. I just reached 100+ followers on tumblr and changed my url there and username on twitter ( I would change my blog as well, but I can't (only thing I don't like about this platform).

And one way or another I WILL make sure that I can see Rocket To The Moon in London. I don't care if I don't get to actually meet Keeley Hawes, just seeing her irl is good enough for me. Just need to sweettalk Cicci a bit and then I can get tickets, haha.

And tomorrow I'm seeing Sanna for the first time in TWO MONTHS. It's insane how fast time passes, and that we allowed it to be this long. And maybe, I'll accidently will end up doing some shopping as well (I suck).

12 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
22 days 'til London.
42 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!



It seems as if spring is finally here and I've started to load up with clothes for warmer weather (lol, who am I kidding, I've been doing that all winter). These are my tiny collection of jeans shorts. I'm really more of a tights and skirt person, but still. My favourites are the high-waisted, light ones with studs. Mostly because I made them myself out of a pair of baggy jeans. And because they're really comfortable, it feels as if I'm wearing a skirt. Perfect cut in the waist as well, which is hard to find.

To be honest, I did make all of these myself. I have a hard time finding shorts that fits well and are worth their price. So these are either old jeans that no one uses anymore or jeans I bought on sale that I cut of and decorated. It's easy as one, two, three and much less expensive than just buying a pair. For example: American flag shorts are like at least 300-400 SEK in store. Mine are old jeans, that I bleached and painted. I already had the bleach and the fabric paint (and the studs), so I didn't pay one single dime for them. And I think my high-waisted ones were about 100 SEK in total, since I did buy the jeans. And it's totally worth the effort, because you get an unique pair of shorts!



Casually just taking pictures of myself, feeling good about finishing untitled yesterday. And my want to see Keeley Hawes is taking over my mind. Stumbled over some photos from my friend Caroline's London trip last year and it made me even more excited about mine and Cicci's trip in a little over three weeks!

I'm having a skinny day today. That means that my stomach has decided to be completely flat, which along with the shape of my back makes my waist look unproportionally thin. This happens about once a months (if you're a girl, I think you can guess why). I'm not complaining, though. Just wish my body could stick to ONE shape.

13 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
23 days 'til London.
43 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!


Rocket To The Moon/Keeley Hawes/HELP

I have one serious dilemma: When me and Cicci are in London, Rocket To The Moon is on, starring Keeley Hawes. I mean KEELEY HAWES. AS IN ASHES TO ASHES LEADING ACTRESS AND MY BIGGEST GIRL CRUSH AFTER LADY GAGA. In total, the it would cost me £52 and some trouble so go see it. AND DID I SAY IT'S KEELEY HAWES? I'm going to list the pros and cons of getting tickets:

  • To go to the theater in London would be pretty badass.
  • The Swedish Krona is very strong right now, which kinds means the tickets are less expensive...
  • I love going to the theater!
  • I've never seen Rocket To The Moon before.
  • Most of the tumblr people I follow who have been to RTTM has met Keeley outside afterwards!

  • £52 is a lot of money for a student (but really, I can afford it).
  • I have no idea where the theater in question is located or how to get there (easy to find out, I guess)
  • What if RTTM is boring?
  • English is not my native language, what if we don't understand (but that would be a good learning experience, I suppose).
  • If I did meet Keeley I would FREAK OUT and it would be really awkward (but worth it probably).

I'm really bad at this, apparently, because I just eliminated all the cons... but still, HELP ME!
Tell me we should go!


Day 30 - Why Do I Love Doctor Who

I love Doctor Who because...

I always had a thing for aliens.

I always had a thing for sci-fi.

I always had a thing for history.

I always had a thing for Britain.

I always had a thing for people slightly mad.

And I always had a thing for TV-shows.

So I thought: “Hey, wouldn’t it be awesome with a British TV-show where they travelled in time and space and they visited the future and the past and there were aliens everywhere and the leading role was this really insane person? Wouldn’t that be so cool?!”

AND THEN I found Doctor Who which is ALL THAT and my life as a fangirl was complete ♥

And in exactly two weeks the new series starts!


Changes/Judas Promo

Slight changes in the design again. The triangle sign that is now everywhere is a symbol of earth, which is my element since I am a virgo. I thought I'd rather than having just any triangle, choose one that actually means something to me. And I like triangles. Very hipster~ of me, I know (but I don't give a fuck).

I just saw the promo picture for Judas and I started to cry. I never do that. It was not like the tears were flooding, but I had to wipe my eyes more than once. It's just like everything in my life right now. It's everything I want untitled to be, and I came up with the idea for that months ago. I think Lady Gaga reads my mind. Like seriously, I'm starting to wonder if she can in some way sense me, because THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. It's getting a bit creepy. But I love it nevertheless ♥.

Did some testprints of untitled and it's lookin' goooood!

15 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who.
25 days 'til London.
45 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!



I haven't got many photos left until I'm finished with my new project, and it wasn't until the other day that I realised I have hardly spoken about it at all on my blog. Now I did tell you a little along with the teasers from Cicci's photoshoot, but I thought I'd be a little more detailed.

Now, as I said, it's a series of portraits. Nine in total, because nine is my lucky number. It will be three of me, three of Cicci and three of Lovisa. I'm done with the ones of Cicci and got two more left of Lovisa and one of me. The one of me am I going to do last, because it's supposed to be sort of a wrap-up of the whole series, so I want to like really finish it all with that. The photos in this post are failed versions of picture nr 6, which I cropped to make you teasers. So far, nr 6 is my favourite, because the styling really came through in the photos and it hardly needed editing, apart from the colours/contrast.

It's so much fun doing this project, because it's different from the ones I've done before. Usually my pictures all look completely different from each other, even if they belong to the same series. But in this one, they all look the same and they're very simple and clean. I've done religious-inspired things before, but never as a theme. My purpose with this is not to provoke, though I can't really escape it. Mixing religious undertones with blood, black eyes and other things that brings a darkness to the pictures, will be found provocative by a lot of people. But there you go. Life , I guess.

I'm so excited, because this is turning out so great! Can't wait to show it to you! Though, as usual, you guys are going to have to wait until after the presentation to see it. I don't want to risk my classmates finding my blog, seeing it all before that. The presentation is on May 11:th, and after that it will be uploaded on!


Day 29 - Favorite Music/Song

The Theme.

I love the theme. It's my ringtone. I've always said that you can detect a good show by it having a good theme song. Most of my favourite shows has brilliant ones. For example: X-files, Ashes To Ashes, Twin Peaks and Fringe. My favourite part of the one of Doctor Who is actually the end that plays when the credits are rolling. Listen to it.

(this is the theme from series 4.)




Day 28 - Favorite Series Arc

I generally like all story arcs in Doctor Who. Well, I generally like story arcs in all shows. I live for the story arcs. I picked Bad Wolf for the picture because it was the first one, and it keeps popping up thoughout all five series. I'm seriously thinking about buying spray paint and paint it on the wall of my new bedroom, when I move.

But I also like The Master (Mr Saxon), the cracks in the universe and am very much looking forward to learning what "Silence will fall" means in series six! Only sixteen days left now!!!


Day 27 - Scene/Moment that made you go ‘argh’

When Amy kisses the Doctor in "Flesh and Stone".



Blood and tears

I think Cicci only likes me because I splatter fake blood in her face and takes pictures of it. Who doesn't want a friend who does that? No, but seriously, Been doing three of the nine shots for my school project of this term today. Which means I've done five in total and got four left. Got one month+a few days until it's due so there's not really any hurry. I think it's going to be nice. I lot simpler than The Rhyming Game and Death Of A Saleswoman. It's just a series of protraits on a white background. Theme is blasphemy, finding individuality and black eyes with black tears. Note that these picsare just us goofing around and not the actual ones for the project(these aren't even edited, apart from colours and contrast). Anyway, I failed the blood this time, as I ran out of red caramel colour and I didn't want to put syrup in it because it so sticky and I felt bad for Cicci who was having it in her face. So it was a bit thin.

I'm very pleased by my ability to do references to lots of things I like in this project. Like Doctor Who, Lady Gaga, Shakesspeare, fashion, etc. Probably just me and other true fans who get it, but still.

And btw, project is called simply "untitled". No capital U unless it's in the beginning of the sentance or anything. Just untitled.

17 days 'til series 6 of Doctor Who starts.
27 days 'til London.
47 days 'til BORN THIS WAY ALBUM!


Day 26 - Scene/Moment that made you go ‘awww’

Ending of Parting Of Ways (S01E13).

Just "awww".


And I don't know what I've done to me


Day 25 - Favorite Tardis Team

Tenth Doctor+Donna.

It was a close call between these two and Ten+Rose, but I love Donna so much that I had to go with this. And I love these to because they have such chemistry and are really just one and the same. And I love that they're really just best mates.

Doctor: "I just want a mate."
Donna: "You just want TO MATE?!"
Doctor: I just want A mate.
Donna: You're not matin' with me sunshine.
Doctor: A MATE. I just want A MATE.
Donna: Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, y'know, alien nothing!


Day 24 - Favorite Accessory of the Doctor’s


I'm not entirely sure the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) counts as an accessory, but I don't care. Because it's awesome and I want one. And guess what? IT'S FUCKING BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!


Don't want no money.
That shit's is ugly.


20110402 Outfit

I really like my hair now, when I get it right. Apparently my real hair is a very good quality. I thought it was in a really bad shape, but when I had it cut a few days ago, my hairdresser was all excited about how nice it was. Guess those vitamin B really does it's work.

And I love my black lace dress. I've been wanting one for ages, but whenever I find one I can't afford it. So when I got payed last time I decided that I was going to buy this from H&M straight away, because I know I'll use it. So now I've finally got one, yay!

Old secondary school class reunion last night. It was nice. Just like old times.


Day 23 - Something Epic

"How do you know it's a duck pond when there aren't any ducks?"

One word: mindfuck.


Day 22 - Something Silly

The beginning of series 5.

It was all mad, silly and oh so funny when the Doctor crashed in Amy Pond's garden.